Another fall approaches and with it a new chapter opens for so many young people, chalked full of textbooks, professors, and student loans. If you’re reading this article, I assume you are a parent, student, or simply someone with a concern for the faith journey of our young people. It’s no secret that college campuses are one of the most difficult environments for faith to flourish, and yet as the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, it is not those who water who cause the seeds to grow, but rather God himself (1 Corinthians 3:7). The parents can provide training, the student can pursue a relationship with the Lord, and godly brothers and sisters in Christ can encourage – but ultimately it is Christ Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith. Can faith flourish and grow in the shade of a university education? Absolutely! Will there be difficulties? Unfortunately, in our culture today, that answer is also affirmative. As someone who has gone through secular higher education, I can sympathize with the struggles that await young people in the auditorium. I decided to embark on this series because it’s a topic that deserves attention in the church. The young people represent future pastors, teachers, parents, and influencers. We cannot, as a body, willingly send the next generation to sit under the tutorage of highly educated and highly persuasive professionals, who often have a desire to deconstruct the faith with which their students have been raised, without equipping those students with the right tools.
Our journey through this topic begins at home (looking at you, parents knee deep in dorm supplies and care packages!). Mom and dad, you are still important to your newly minted adult child or twenty something. Adulthood brings with it independence and a shift in the parent child relationship. You’ve probably been on this road toward their independence for awhile, early inklings of it’s rapidly approaching date can appear years before your child is ready to leave the nest. Hopefully, you feel confident in the things you’ve done as a parent to prepare him or her for this next step, but if you’re feeling uncertain, don’t despair! Point number one is important whether you’re feeling confident or wear this impending next stage like an anxious weight around your neck.
Prayer
It seems simple, right (maybe too simple)? This is the most fundamental and important thing you can do as a parent for your child who is facing a university classroom. Pray for your son’s faith. Bring your daughter’s choices for the future before the Lord. Pray that the voices fighting for prominence will consistently bend the knee before the authority of Jesus Christ in their hearts and minds.
Provide a Christ centered escape.
Universities hum with the excitement of new ideas and new experiences. These experiences and ideas can be awesome and edifying but sometimes mind shaping in the worst way. I remember walking into my first anthropology class at a four year university, excited to begin what I hoped would broaden my understanding of a subject I was deeply interested in. After we reviewed the syllabus the professor expressed his expectation for religious students in the course: “When you come into my classroom, leave God at the door.” He voiced what so many of my professors had already shown through lectures and reading material. I could be a Christian, but I couldn’t bring my God into their classroom. Our Christian students need a safe place to regroup and remember who they are and the truth of the gospel- home is an ideal place to cultivate that environment for your college student. It can be tempting to skip Sunday service or other normal activities within the Body of Christ when your college student is home visiting (especially if it’s for a holiday or only for a weekend). I get it, you want to spend as much time together as possible- but making time for those routines during the visit can help provide that Christ centered stability school can lack.
Regular faith check-in
While it’s normal to discuss how your children are doing at college, don’t be afraid to ask how they are feeling about their relationship with God. I encourage parents to set an expectation beforehand that they want to keep communication open about their faith. While you might assume that they know they can come to you with any questions, it never hurts to reiterate that invitation. Set the expectation beforehand: there will be stumbling blocks in the classroom. Make sure your adult children know they have a safe place to voice their doubts and wrestle with difficult concepts.
Assemble your village!
The old saying goes, “it takes a village to raise a child,” I posit it takes a group of believers to support a college student. This support system can be your family members, church family, pastors, godly teachers- anyone within the Body of Christ who can speak encouragement and pray for your student. There will probably be times when you don’t have the answers they are looking for, and that’s okay! Before it happens, have some people on spiritual standby who you can lean into and say, “I don’t know the answer to that. Let’s get Pastor Jake on the phone,” or “let’s talk to Aunt Mary.” Who ever you decide is a good fit for these supportive roles, set the expectation ahead of time that your student will always have someone they can talk to about conflicts of faith.
Find those who’ve walked this road
There are so many ways you can stay engaged, supportive, and help safeguard the precious faith of your college aged children! That is why this last point is so incredibly important: connect with wise individuals who have walked this road before you. Seek out people in your church community who have adult children or look for Christian groups that offer connection and advice for parents of college students (or start your own!). There is a need for connection and support within our culture and connecting around this important topic can absolutely be a blessing (and give you the opportunity to bless others in return!). Prayerfully consider the next steps you feel led to take at this transitional time in your student’s life. May this be a time of new beginnings, faithful community, and solid faith.
